Coming out.

I'm over a month late for this but the fact is, it never stop bothering me the thought that many people were doing this and I wasn't.

My name is Ignacio and I am still undocumented.

In my previous post I mentioned that this July, I will officially reach the 20th year mark. I came to the U.S. at age fifteen. I had just finished middle school in Mexico when my parents decided to pick up and leave; all of us.

We settled in New York and I started working as a dishwasher for about three years. Within a few months, I enrolled in what used to be a private ESL school at the Pennsylvania Hotel, across the street from Madison Square Garden. I attended that school for about a year gaining some ground on the language that I would soon adopt. I was able to pay for this with my $18o/week dishwasher salary. But I missed school.

Withing five years I moved to Chicago with my parents and youngest sister. They returned to New York and I stayed behind. I started working as a busboy in a restaurant. The managers hired me because they were impressed with my language skills and often I would be offered a position as a server. Once in Chicago, I enrolled in a GED program and ESL program at a community college. When I finished the GED program within one year, I enrolled in an associate's program in Social Science.

While all of this was happening, I would hear stories about people "fixing" their legal status, not knowing that these were all scams preying on the hopes of the people. On two occasions, I lost money betting on some bad advice and worst legal representation. These mishaps left me upset and really frustrated. Gladly, in Chicago, I had surrounded with many friends I met through school and I also had my studies to concentrate on. Education has always been a good scape from this harsh reality that us undocumented people go through.

About five years ago, I was able to apply for a "change of status" through my brother, who is a U.S. citizen. Although later I came to find out that the, yet again, legal representation had been misleading to say the least, I was able to obtain a work permit and a ss card for one year.
First let me say that often times, some young Dreamers end their academic hopes and dreams because they lack a ss card and therefore they have to forgo their education focusing on working to help their families. In my case, having these documents put me in a different category of limbo. For one, to this day, I can identify with the pain and suffering most undocumented people experience every day. I have loss friends and family in Mexico. Not being able to travel has been the biggest frustration for me because I have not been allowed to grieve a loss or attend a funeral. On the upside, I enjoy some benefits such as having a driver's license and being able to work. But these benefits often make me feel uncomfortable because I don't know how long they will last and they set me apart from friends and family who have nothing. I often feel guilt, remorse and frustration all at once.

As I mentioned earlier, I wasted no time educating myself in the past 20 years. I have obtained a college education in the field of social services. I enjoy my profession very much and I am thankful to all those professors and fellow professionals I have met along the way. Everyday I go to work feeling like I am making a difference in someone's life and the community. The people I help don't need to know or care that I am undocumented. It is thanks to my work ethic, my core beliefs of empathy and resilience that I am able to endure this unpleasant reality while helping others reach their potential.

It is ironic that the Anglo-Protestant work ethic defines success as rooted in a person's character and personal values and yet, all I have stated above can simply be summarized in a word that is to painful. My name is Ignacio and I am still undocumented.