Last night as I struggled to fall asleep, I couldn't help but think about a distant future. As I thought about it, I wondered how it would feel. You know, the notion of being totally and completely free!
There are moments in which hope abandons me. It doesn't happen frequently, but occasionally it does. Most of the time I get caught up in the day to day, life cycle; that I even forget I'm in a giant cell to begin with.
Last night, as I wandered through the space in between conscious and subconsciousness,I thought "How many times can I travel within without feeling trapped anymore?" For a brief moment-a split second long perhaps- I imagine myself free. Free to leave this material place. This so-called land of opportunity. Free from this land of fake morality, and empty social and human values. And also for a moment I contemplate my oppressed brothers and sisters, who everyday give up a little essence of themselves because we live in such oppressive society. I imagine them free as well.
But this can't be. At least not here, not now. Then, I realized I have done it again. I just traveled within to that safe place.
The title above is lyrics from a song in Spanish (obviously). I sometimes feel like by staying inside I am giving something up. The fear of being away from my family is what keeps me here, but at what cost, I wonder?
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